Post by infontech on May 4, 2006 1:19:56 GMT -5
Explosively Funny
Joe and Dave are hunting when Dave keels over. Frantic, Joe dials 911 on his cell phone and blurts, "My friend just dropped dead! What should I do?"
A soothing voice at the other end says, "Don't worry, I can help. First, let's make sure he's really dead."
After a brief silence, the operator hears a shot. Then Joe comes back to the phone. "Okay," he says nervously to the operator. "What do I do next?"
A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender says, "You're quite a celebrity around here. We've even got a drink named after you." The grasshopper says, "You've got a drink named Steve?"
Six guys are playing poker. After losing $500 on one hand, Smith clutches his chest and topples over, dead at the table. To decide who's going to tell his wife, his buddies draw straws. Anderson picks the short one.
"Break it to her gently," they all urge.
"Leave it to me," he says. When Smith's wife comes to the door, Anderson says, "Your husband just lost $500 playing cards."
"How much?" the wife yells, eyes blazing. "Tell him to drop dead!"
Bob couldn't believe it -- he'd made it to the last round of his favorite game show. "Congratulations, Bob," said the emcee. "Answer correctly and you go home with five million dollars!
"This is a two-part question on American history," he continued. "The second half of the question is always easier. Which part would you like first?"
Bob figured he'd play it safe. "I think I'll try the second part of the question first."
The emcee nodded approvingly, while the audience was silent with anticipation.
"Okay, Bob, here is your question: And in what year did it happen?"
Joe and Dave are hunting when Dave keels over. Frantic, Joe dials 911 on his cell phone and blurts, "My friend just dropped dead! What should I do?"
A soothing voice at the other end says, "Don't worry, I can help. First, let's make sure he's really dead."
After a brief silence, the operator hears a shot. Then Joe comes back to the phone. "Okay," he says nervously to the operator. "What do I do next?"
A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender says, "You're quite a celebrity around here. We've even got a drink named after you." The grasshopper says, "You've got a drink named Steve?"
Six guys are playing poker. After losing $500 on one hand, Smith clutches his chest and topples over, dead at the table. To decide who's going to tell his wife, his buddies draw straws. Anderson picks the short one.
"Break it to her gently," they all urge.
"Leave it to me," he says. When Smith's wife comes to the door, Anderson says, "Your husband just lost $500 playing cards."
"How much?" the wife yells, eyes blazing. "Tell him to drop dead!"
Bob couldn't believe it -- he'd made it to the last round of his favorite game show. "Congratulations, Bob," said the emcee. "Answer correctly and you go home with five million dollars!
"This is a two-part question on American history," he continued. "The second half of the question is always easier. Which part would you like first?"
Bob figured he'd play it safe. "I think I'll try the second part of the question first."
The emcee nodded approvingly, while the audience was silent with anticipation.
"Okay, Bob, here is your question: And in what year did it happen?"
